Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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