Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
