Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
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you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize