they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
