It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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