Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
