The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
