...so i touched it.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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