i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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