so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
