no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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