wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize