he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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