dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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