Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
