if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
