tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
