your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he was CRYING into my vagina
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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