you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
