She is in my trunk
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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