I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
