Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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