haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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