Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
