checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
