he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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