Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
