yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
