I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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