Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
