He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
