Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
