The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize