I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
