Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
