nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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