first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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