that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
