Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
