I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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