The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
