Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
