So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
