thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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