They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize