i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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