Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she smelled like a LAN party
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
