I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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