He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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