i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
