The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
