So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
