I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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