my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
