this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
