In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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