if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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