is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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