put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
