remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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