woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
