ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
