I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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