Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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