BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Of course I have a pirate flag
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
