Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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