i think my mom watched the whole time
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
