Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
