Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
