dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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